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Home Alone, I Can Do Whatever I Want!

Home Alone, I Can Do Whatever I Want!

I am home alone.

Home…alone…

Home…

All by myself.

 

I should be happy right?

I should be doing the limbo…

 

One of the good things about being home alone is that I can start multiple projects and I don’t have to finish them (well, at least not until just before my wife gets home).  Yup, if I get bored with one I can drop that one and move on and start another.

Yup, I did that yesterday and today.

Because I don’t have to finish one before I start another!  I am home alone!

And I can do whatever I want!

Right now I have about six going.

One of them is cleaning out my clothes closet.

 

Another cool thing is that I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want.

Yesterday I made this massive bowl of chicken salad.  Then I went to Panera and bought a huge baguette.  Over the course of the afternoon yesterday I ate that whole bowl of chicken salad and that entire baguette myself.

Yup, all by myself.

Because I could.

 

Then I got the mail.

And in the mail was my wife’s Redbook Magazine.

Now I don’t get the chance to read the Redbook Magazine every day.

But I did this week.

Because I could.

One article I read was called 6 Stories That’ll Move You.  Three of those stories were about books helping you to “Get More Happily in Ever After.”

One author’s point was “that a perfect marriage is a myth, but yours can still be good.”

I can agree that marriages may not be perfect, but why settle for just good?

In another book that was discussed, the author was said to have “traveled the world seeking insight for a strong marriage.”

My insight for her would be instead of traveling the world, looking across the table or maybe on the other side of the bed would be a better place to start.

The third one said “her portrait of marriage…is a testament to how time can change but also heal you.”

I liked that one.

 

And, since I was so tired from starting all those projects, I decided I was going to go to bed early last night.

But I couldn’t sleep, because I never sleep well when my wife is not home.

When I finally did fall asleep after watching some silly show on TV at 10 o’clock that my wife never wanted to watch before…because I could…I woke up in the middle of the night with terrible indigestion from that last piece of baguette and chicken salad I ate at seven o’clock, just before going to bed early.

 

So let me think about this again.

I am home alone.

All by myself.

 

I am starting multiple projects without finishing them.

And one of those projects is cleaning out my clothes closet!

I am eating mass quantities of chicken salad and consuming entire baguettes whenever I want to including just before going to bed.

I am going to bed early and not sleeping, and watching bad TV shows.

And…

I am reading articles from the Redbook Magazine!

And worse than that…

I am writing about them!

 

Kim…

If you are reading this…

Can you please come home…?

“PLEASE?”
“I can’t sleep…and I have some indigestion…and I never want to eat chicken salad again…and I promise to put Round-Up on the dandelions…and what does that lady know about myths and perfect marriages anyway?…she’s writes books!”
What can I say?