Musings of an Aging Nobody

Seriously…

Me?

Cranky?

I’m cranky?

I was told that by one of my daughters recently.

She told me I needed to start writing more about my family and grandkids maybe, and less about the cranky old guy stuff I have been writing about.

I won’t tell you which daughter told me I was cranky because I don’t want to throw one of them under the bus because I am a dad who is cool like that.

But I am sure it’s okay if I tell you she lives in Florida.

 

It’s December 6^th and I am home alone again.

Kim is attending the Laurel View Village Christmas party with her mom in Pennsylvania.

Home alone, that sounds kind of Christmassy right?

Because again this year, I decided I wasn’t going to write a Christmas letter.

Once again, I didn’t feel like it.

Too cranky I guess.

But since I am home alone, what the heck, maybe it will help.

 

Kim and I watched Christmas movies over this past weekend; It’s a Wonderful Life, White Christmas, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the one from the year 2000 with Jim Cary as the Grinch.

I never liked that one.  I would always get to the scene early on in the movie with the sorting of the mail and presents at the Whoville Post Office and then I would shut it off.  It was just too much overstimulation.

But this past weekend Kim and I watched the whole thing.

And I still didn’t like it.

But this movie has that song.

The Where Are You Christmas? song.

That song always gets to me, in fact, I featured some of the lyrics in my 2018 Christmas “letter” that was never sent but just posted online, another Christmas we struggled with.

So while Kim went upstairs to bed, I watched the credits and listened to Faith Hill sing that song once again. And as it always does, even though I like it, it made me a little sad, bringing back memories from Christmas 2000, our first Christmas married and as a blended family and those that would follow; the events that changed our family, how we have changed, how our Christmases have changed, and how I have changed.

But that is life, things change, and every year is different, as it should be. Traditions are nice, but there are new ones that need to be made too.

And in fact, already this year we made some holiday change ups and did some things differently.

The weekend before Thanksgiving we had an early Thanksgiving get-together with Savannah, Leon, Cameron, Hayley, and Malcolm. That was nice, we did a very non-traditional Thanksgiving meal with charcuterie, meatballs, Italian sausage and green peppers, baked ziti, and some other stuff.  The photo on the card is from that day.

Then on Thanksgiving Day Kim and I flew to Florida to have Thanksgiving dinner with Alexa, Namaan, Christian, Ethan, and some extended Florida family and had the more traditional turkey and fixings.  Friday morning we all packed in the car and picked out a nice live Christmas tree and added some more decorations to the outside of the house.   Then we built a gingerbread house that the kids decorated.  So we were able to have Thanksgiving and jam some Christmas in there too with the kids.

We had a nice long weekend. It’s kind of fun Christmas tree shopping in shorts and sandals.

But for Christmas this year, unlike last year, we won’t have any of the kids and grandkids together.

And as I sit here thinking about it, I suppose that is my problem.  That is why this year it’s tough to get in the spirit.

And though each year in this letter, I try to corner the market on holiday self-pity, I realize in the end I need to count my blessings and recognize that we are not unlike most families.  Families change, some are called home, and we can’t keep our kids young forever. And sometimes we have to share the grandkids, or the nieces and nephews and as much as we would like to keep all of our traditions, there are those times we have to let some go or make new ones.

I heard a crazy story about a guy who started a movement where he writes and advocates for human extinction saying children are so damaging to the planet, the only answer is to let the human race die out by not having any more children.

Wow…talk about a Grinch.

Can you imagine not having any children around… especially at Christmas?

I am dealing with that issue right now.

It’s sad, he doesn’t know what it’s like to have kids.

He doesn’t have any daughters.

But on the other hand, he doesn’t have any daughters to tell him that he is cranky and what he should and shouldn’t write about.

Nor does he have daughters who tell him how much they love him.

I feel bad for that guy.

I hope he has a Merry Christmas.

 

But now it is getting late and though sometimes I find it difficult to sleep when I am home alone, I must not give in to the temptation to stay up, I must go to bed.

And I am reminded of another song from another movie we watched over the weekend, Irving Berlin’s White Christmas and Count Your Blessings (Instead of Sheep).

When I’m worried and I can’t sleep

I count my blessings instead of sheep

And I fall asleep counting my blessings…

 

Counting my blessings.

Well, there you have it, I think it did help a little.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Kim and me.  We hope you and your families have a blessed Christmas too.

 

Postscript:

Okay so it’s now closer to Christmas, and to make my daughter Alexa happy, in more traditional Christmas letter fashion, in case anyone is interested, here is a report on all my “Little Blessings”:

Savannah and Leon are doing great, living in their “new” house in a nice friendly neighborhood in Leesburg.  Leon is still teaching at Open Arms, a private Christian school and Savannah working for a surgical practice in Dulles called Surgical Specialists of Northern Virginia.

Cameron is awesome, twelve years old, and in the seventh grade.  He is now as tall as me, and his voice is really lowwwwww.  That’s kind of hard to get used to.  He is actively developing his basketball skills and in spite of his almost teenage status, he still pays attention to his Mimi and Pop Pop.

Hayley and Malcolm also are enjoying life in their “new” house in Leesburg, very close to Savannah and Leon. They have been busy doing some renovations and keeping up with the yard.  I keep telling Malcolm I know a guy when he is ready.  Hayley is in her 15^th year teaching at Broad Run High School and Malcolm is an IT Project Manager for government websites.

Alexa and Namaan are still in Hollywood Florida where life at home is like being in Disney World.  Alexa still lawyering for GEICO and Namaan investigating claims for State Farm, they both mostly work on personal injury claims and investigations.

Ethan and Christian are growing up, Ethan is five and in Kindergarten and Christian is seven and in the second grade.  Christian plays baseball in a coach pitch league and is taking art classes.  Ethan is earning his stripes and belts in karate.

Kim and I are doing fine and managing to keep busy.  Kim is in her 29^th year at Lincare and enjoys the relationships she has built over all those years.  I am enjoying my semi-retirement continuing to work part-time at the Sterling United Methodist Church and managing purchasing (auctions) and sales (Ebay) for Kim’s Vintage Cool Stuff while waiting patiently for Malcolm to hire me to cut his grass.

We spend as much time as we can with Kim’s mom in Pennsylvania and my mother and father on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.  Faye is doing great at Laurel View Village in Davidsville. Lady, my mother, is like the energizer bunny and is practically on the staff of the Mallard Bay Nursing and Rehab in Cambridge as she helps to take care of my dad, who all things considered, is doing okay too.

So as you can see we are blessed with daughters and great sons-in-law, grandchildren, parents, and Donny in our hearts.

And as that song that gets to me says “If there is love in your heart and your mind, you will feel like Christmas all the time.”

 

Maybe so…

 

And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Luke 2:10 

PPS:

I am not going to send too many cards and letters out in the mail this year.  I am going to keep it to folks who I think may not otherwise see it, mostly older folks like my sister who may not be active “online.”  So please feel free to share.