Christmas 2023
A few weeks after last Christmas, Kim and I got a letter from Mrs. Taylor. Mrs. Taylor was Donny’s fifth grade teacher who is now retired and has moved away from Herndon. Donny loved Mrs. Taylor, and every year since Donny’s accident we have sent her our Christmas card and letter. In her letter she told us how much she appreciated that we still send her our card and Christmas letter, and how much she looked forward to it. That gave me great joy and for many months that letter hung on the kitchen cabinet. Then came the day Mrs. Taylor’s letter needed to be taken down and put in that special place where we would always have it.
And you know how that goes.
Shortly after Thanksgiving when I was looking for some motivation for this year’s Christmas letter, we went to find Mrs. Taylor’s letter in that special place, and let me tell you, that place is still very special.
Mrs. Taylor, I want you to know that I appreciated your letter very much, and I also want you to know that I will keep that letter safe as long as I live and I am sure that when I do discover it the next time, I will appreciate it even more.
It was December 14th, and as I was walking through the area in the church near the office where we display posters and announcements of what is going on in the life of the church, I noticed that we had an Advent Calendar on the wall “With daily prompts for practicing joy in a weary world.” I could use a little of that I thought, so I read the message for that day, and it said “Write a letter to a loved one who has passed on. Tell them what you love and miss about them.”
Yeesh, I thought. Six months ago, on June 14th my dad was preparing to meet Jesus in few hours, I suppose I could write my dad a letter, but I don’t think he would read it. And besides, that would probably just make me sad, and I am already sad.
When I got home, I went through the Christmas cards we had received in the mail. One was from my cousin Judy. Judy is now the matriarch of my father’s side of the family. She included a nice note written in the card that closed with “I wish you a wonderful Christmas with your family and look forward to your letter at my new address.”
Oh yeah, there’s that letter again. The Christmas Letter.
Suddenly writing my dad a letter started to sound like an easier option.
Now it’s December 15th, a Friday, and the end of a long week, while I waited for Kim to come home, I sat on the deck enjoying all the blow-up decorations and lights in my backyard that I had put up this year since the kids were all going to be here for Christmas. While I enjoyed the view, I listened to Glen Campbell’s That Christmas Feeling album on iTunes and my new waterproof Bluetooth speaker. That Christmas Feeling is one of my favorite albums, certainly my favorite Christmas album, one that my dad had from the late 60’s.
I was having a moment.
On the church Facebook page, I read the message of the day from that same Advent Calendar was “Write, text, or call someone who brings you joy. Tell them, ‘I appreciate you.’”
Coincidentally, I had spoken on the phone with all three of my daughters that day and that doesn’t happen very often and they always bring me joy. I am sure I told all three that I loved them, but I didn’t say “I appreciate you,” hopefully they know that.
But okay, with three writing prompts in two days, I decided to move into the house to try to write.
When Kim came home, she looked at me and said “It’s December 15th” … and waited for me to finish the sentence.
“Six months since my dad died?” I replied weakly as she continued to wait patiently.
“…the day we got engaged,” she finished her sentence.
Oops, I had forgotten it was twenty-five years ago on December 15th that we got engaged just before Christmas in 1998 while spending the evening at the Red Fox Inn in Middleburg, Virginia. That was certainly a joyous day. And for many years after that we would return to The Red Fox Inn on December 15th. That tradition, like some others unfortunately, got lost as our lives got more complicated.
But I suppose I should have remembered.
The daily prompt for December 18th for practicing Joy in a weary world was “Read about and reflect on the word, “Attunement.” What does it look like for you to practice attunement this season?”
Attunement, I had to look that one up.
“Attunement is the reactiveness we have to another person. It is the process by which we form relationships.” “A person who is well attuned will respond with appropriate language and behaviors based on another person’s emotional state.”
I thought about December 15 and how much I had already failed attuning this season, but I could try to do better.
Now it’s December 24th and Christmas Eve. The daily prompt for this day is “Reflect on 3 things you are deeply grateful for. Offer a prayer of gratitude to God.”
I can do better than that, I thought. There are at least ten “things” in my Christmas photo on my Christmas card that I am deeply grateful for. I will reflect on them later.
I suppose you could say, particularly this Christmas season, our world may be a bit weary and the effort to find joy for some may be tough.
And sometimes writing, writing letters, calling those you love, reflecting, and prayers of gratitude help more than you know.
Kim and I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. We do appreciate you, and we hope you find Joy in this Christmas season and in the coming New Year.
And I guess since the theme of this letter seems to be about letters and appreciation, maybe I will go back to that December 14th encouragement and write that letter to a loved one who has passed before me, but not to my Pop, to someone else who has passed on:
Dear Jesus,
Thanks.
Please take care of all those who surround us this season as well as those we can’t spend Christmas with this year.
And tell my Pop “Merry Christmas.” By the way he likes ice cream, Manhattans, and Fiskoboller (cod fish balls) if you are celebrating.
Oh, and happy birthday.
And we do appreciate you too.
Merry Christmas, pray for peace.
Kim and Curt
Postscript:
In keeping with Alexa’s request last year that I write more about the family, allow me to reflect on them a little. It’s been a year of lots of change for all of us.
Of course, you know my dad passed away on June 15th. My mom is doing well but as you would expect she misses him as we all do.
Alexa got a promotion at GEICO which required the family to relocate. So, they packed up and moved from south Florida to central Florida and a town named Oviedo which is near Orlando and Walt Disney World, their Happy Place. The house is nice and is keeping Namaan busy; the neighbors are nice, the schools are good, and Christian and Ethan are happy playing baseball and going to Disney. They are currently in the third and first grades. Kim and I went down there for a few days in October.
Savannah and Leon both got new jobs. Leon transitioned from teaching private school to working for Loudoun County Public Schools as a physical education teacher on the Elementary level. Savannah transitioned into a Sales role at Poet’s Walk, a memory care facility and is following in Kim’s footsteps in healthcare sales and marketing.
Cameron has grown about a foot since last Christmas and is playing basketball and doing well in his eighth-grade year. He is a teenager now but still likes to hang with his Mimi and Pop Pop.
Over the summer we were lucky to have all three of the kids together for a little vacation and spent some time on the eastern shore fishing and crabbing and kayaking with great grandma Flo.
Hayley and Malcolm got engaged finally. Malcolm also got a new job with T. Rowe Price and Hayley is in her 16th year teaching social sciences at Broad Run High School. Sadley Malcolm also lost his dad this year right after Thanksgiving.
Kim and I are busy traveling the world, dining out a lot, basically living the dream. Well, none of that is true but we are still working towards being busy traveling, dining out a lot, and we do a lot of dreaming. Kim is in her 30th year at Lincare, and I am still working at the church. We continue to try to spend as much time as we can with our moms. We had an early Christmas with my mom on a recent weekend and Kim went up and attended the Laurel View Village Christmas bash with her mom on the 12th. So all is good and I suppose if hanging around with your best friend is part of that dream then we are in fact living it.
Merry Christmas,
Kim, Curt, Savannah, Leon, Cameron, Hayley, Malcolm, Alexa, Namaan, Christian, and Ethan
Therefore, as we face this season,
we ask that you would continue to walk with us.
Stay by our side as we climb our way out.
Just stay close.
For we cannot move from the weariness to joy without you.
Amen
(Rev. Sarah Speed)
