Oh My! Who Knew? DNA and Urinals

Oh My! Who Knew? DNA and Urinals

Meet the tallest urinal I have ever encountered! Who knew in just a few generations it would come to this?

 

Sometimes we are faced with decisions.

Sometimes those decisions can cause us to look at ourselves and wonder why.

Why am I having to make this decision, what is it about me that I can’t change and how did I get that way?

One day while working and calling on physicians offices I found myself in a fairly new office building in Alexandria, VA.

I had to use the restroom.  There in that restroom reality hit me.  I had to make a decision.

Do I go left or do I go right?

 

Coincidentally, at the time I had been reading Angela Duckworth’s book Grit:The Power of Passion and Perseverance which I have referred to a couple of times before in my essays.  I had just finished the chapter called Grit Grows with the question “How much of our grit is in our genes?”

Our genes.

Our DNA.

DNA has become a popular subject in my house lately.  My wife and I are trying to learn more about our family histories and where we came from.

It’s fascinating.

Where did we come from…our families?

And why are we like we are?

It’s in our genes, our DNA.

But is it entirely?

Ms. Duckworth will tell us with “complete conviction that every human trait is influenced by both genes and experience.”

She explains that height is a good example and that the average height of men and women has increased dramatically over just a few generations.

But what in our experiences affected our height?

According to Ms. Duckworth; nutrition, modern medicine, clean air and water. And she points out that children who were provided an abundant amount of healthy food grew up taller than those who were undernourished.

 

My wife and I recently did the Ancestry.com DNA test to learn more about the mysteries of the heritage of each of our families.

My sister had already done this test through Ancestry.com and received her results.  I suppose I could have just looked at hers and pretty much determined from her results what mine would look like.

But then I thought about it…

My sister is so much different than the rest of us.

Maybe she was adopted?  I mean she is the oldest so how would the rest of us have known the difference?

Then I thought about it some more…

It occurred to me that both my brothers and even my sister are taller than me.  What did that mean?

Maybe I was the one who was adopted!

Or, was it my experience?

Maybe my mother was feeding my two brothers and my sister more and better food than she was feeding me.

Maybe that’s why I was getting lettuce and mayonnaise sandwiches in my lunch box at school.

 

But then my results came back and accordingly to Ancestry.com, my sister and I are undeniably siblings.  So unless we were both adopted as brother and sister, it had to mean that it was my experience and my mother underfeeding me was probably the only explanation as to why I was the shortest!

 

The results indicated that my sister Patty was 51% Scandinavian and I was 46%.  More specifically it indicated we were western Norwegian.   I always figured I was half Norwegian, both my dad’s parents are from Norway.

But the other results were a surprise.  Patty was 36% Great Britain and I was 34%.  She was 10%  Europe East and I was 10% Europe West.  Patty had trace amounts (3%) Europe East and the Iberian Peninsula and I finished out with 5% Europe East, 4% Iberian Peninsula, and 1% Finnish/North Western Russia.

What does all this mean?

I don’t know yet, but I do know that all the while growing up when I was asked what nationality I was I would say half Norwegian and half German.

Just like when I was growing up and someone would ask:

“Hey man, what’s up with your sister?”

I would say I don’t know I think she was adopted.

 

But now I know all that wasn’t true.  I am not half German and there is only a small percentage that could be German.  And I know, thanks to Ancestry.com that neither my sister nor I am adopted.  And I was just kidding about my sister and those questions from my friends and all that adopted stuff because even if she was I would still love her as much as I do now anyway since we all know adoption is a blessing.

And I don’t really think that my mother was purposely trying to starve me resulting in my comparably short stature.  Besides, I liked lettuce and mayonnaise sandwiches, it was my favorite lunch.  And even if she was trying back then,  she is certainly attempting to make up for it now.

So this DNA stuff is really fascinating.

As for Grit, I do think I got my grit partly inherited and partly from experience just as Ms. Duckworth theorized.

And, with regards to my height… it’s okay Ma, I know it’s not your fault I couldn’t reach that urinal on the right.

Pop’s Lady

Pop’s Lady

Pop’s Lady

The waterman typically woke up about 3:30 AM.  There was no need to set an alarm, no need to set a time on clock radio or West Bend portable because the “alarm clock” was already up and making coffee out in the kitchen.

The first mate was always the first up as well.

 

That coffee had to be brewed, thermoses filled, and breakfast made.  It would be a while until lunch.

In the early days, before the law was changed that allowed crabbing only after the sun came up, they hit the water in complete darkness.  High powered flashlights had to be used to spot the buoys indicating where the trotlines started and ended and on the dark mornings, up and down the river it looked like  premier night at the movies.  Those mornings when the fog moved in it was a leap of faith.

They worked three lines.  The shortest was 1800 feet long, the longest just short of a half mile. About every five feet the 3/16 nylon rope was twisted and a salted bull’s lip was inserted in the space and twisted back.

Bull’s lips were used as the bait.  The bait had to be tough.  It had to last as long as possible.

Once the lines were dropped to the river floor and the buoys placed to mark the location, the waterman would maneuver the boat back along the route of one of the submerged lines and an outrigger would slowly elevate the baited line to the surface, five feet and one bull’s lip at a time.  When a crab was spotted with its claws clinging to the bait it would be scooped into the boat with a crab net.  Once the crabs were in the boat, the mate would sort the crabs into the different baskets that at the end of the work day would be taken to the wholesaler and sold for that day’s wages. The sooks or females in one bucket, the jimmies or males in another. And of those, the restaurant sizes, the ones or twos, had to be separated out as well. The peelers in yet another bucket, they would fetch fifty cents apiece.

The name on the boat was Pop’s Lady.

Pop, my dad, was the Captain; Lady, my mom, was the First Mate.

I don’t remember exactly when my mother got the nickname Lady, but it was a long time ago.

When my parents retired and moved from New Jersey to the Eastern Shore of Maryland and settled down on the Little Choptank River they became commercial crabbers.  Together, they did this for about 15 years.

The first time I introduced my wife Kim to my parents, my mother was sitting under a big tree with a large bucket of bull’s lips by her side and their trotlines, inspecting and re-baiting the crab lines as was necessary.  Pulling out the worn out bull’s lip and inserting the new one, five feet at a time.

I don’t remember whether they shook hands.

My mother…aka Lady, Florence, Flo, Flozzie, Ma, Mom…whatever you called her was and still is as tough as those bull’s lips.

Before her stint as a waterman (or waterwoman), she managed a high school cafeteria for many years.  And before that as a young mother and wife she wielded a hammer, laid brick, and maneuvered a wheelbarrow alongside my dad, his dad, his brother, and his friends as they built our new house in Oceanport New Jersey.

She volunteered with the Oceanport Hook and Ladder Fire Company’s Ladies Auxiliary; she was a wonderful aunt in the extended family that made up the little village we had in our little corner of Oceanport.

And she raised four kids.

My sister Pat was born in 1952, while my dad was in the Army during the Korean conflict. My mom wrote my dad a letter every day that he was gone.

My brother Carl was born in 1954 and me in 1956.  My brother Gary was born not too long after that new house was finished on May 14, 1961, fifty six years ago today on a Mother’s Day.  My dad told me recently he would tell everyone Gary was Flo’s Mother’s Day present from him.

On a recent visit to see my parents, Kim had learned of a website that would tell you the most popular song at the time you were born.  One evening we had some fun with that.  I was born on June 27, 1956.  The most popular song at the time was “The Wayward Wind” by Gogi Grant.  My dad remembered it well.

This same site would also take it a step further and tell you the most popular song at the time you were conceived as well.

For me it was “The Yellow Rose of Texas” by Mitch Miller from the movie Giant, “a 1956 American epic Western drama film.”

Wait…my dad is a huge fan of western movies.

Yuck, way too much information.

C’mon Pop!  I always thought we had ice cream when we watched movies?

I haven’t watched a James Dean movie since.

 

But hey, thanks Pop, you did alright with your Lady and we are all blessed to have this one as our mother.

My mom is still riding shotgun with my dad; still fiercely loyal to her family; still managing that cafeteria only now it’s just her kitchen; still the carpenter’s helper; still tends to my boo boos ; takes care of her neighbors; and is still taking good care of us.

So Ma…Happy Mother’s Day!

In my first essay on Musings…Three Score and Counting  I twice referred to her as my lifeline.  She may not need to be my lifeline anymore, but it’s nice to know she is there.

And I still really appreciate those pork roll, egg, and cheese on the hard roll sandwiches so keep the cafeteria open!

And Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there.  It’s not always easy but we need you!

Home Alone, I Can Do Whatever I Want!

Home Alone, I Can Do Whatever I Want!

I am home alone.

Home…alone…

Home…

All by myself.

 

I should be happy right?

I should be doing the limbo…

 

One of the good things about being home alone is that I can start multiple projects and I don’t have to finish them (well, at least not until just before my wife gets home).  Yup, if I get bored with one I can drop that one and move on and start another.

Yup, I did that yesterday and today.

Because I don’t have to finish one before I start another!  I am home alone!

And I can do whatever I want!

Right now I have about six going.

One of them is cleaning out my clothes closet.

 

Another cool thing is that I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want.

Yesterday I made this massive bowl of chicken salad.  Then I went to Panera and bought a huge baguette.  Over the course of the afternoon yesterday I ate that whole bowl of chicken salad and that entire baguette myself.

Yup, all by myself.

Because I could.

 

Then I got the mail.

And in the mail was my wife’s Redbook Magazine.

Now I don’t get the chance to read the Redbook Magazine every day.

But I did this week.

Because I could.

One article I read was called 6 Stories That’ll Move You.  Three of those stories were about books helping you to “Get More Happily in Ever After.”

One author’s point was “that a perfect marriage is a myth, but yours can still be good.”

I can agree that marriages may not be perfect, but why settle for just good?

In another book that was discussed, the author was said to have “traveled the world seeking insight for a strong marriage.”

My insight for her would be instead of traveling the world, looking across the table or maybe on the other side of the bed would be a better place to start.

The third one said “her portrait of marriage…is a testament to how time can change but also heal you.”

I liked that one.

 

And, since I was so tired from starting all those projects, I decided I was going to go to bed early last night.

But I couldn’t sleep, because I never sleep well when my wife is not home.

When I finally did fall asleep after watching some silly show on TV at 10 o’clock that my wife never wanted to watch before…because I could…I woke up in the middle of the night with terrible indigestion from that last piece of baguette and chicken salad I ate at seven o’clock, just before going to bed early.

 

So let me think about this again.

I am home alone.

All by myself.

 

I am starting multiple projects without finishing them.

And one of those projects is cleaning out my clothes closet!

I am eating mass quantities of chicken salad and consuming entire baguettes whenever I want to including just before going to bed.

I am going to bed early and not sleeping, and watching bad TV shows.

And…

I am reading articles from the Redbook Magazine!

And worse than that…

I am writing about them!

 

Kim…

If you are reading this…

Can you please come home…?

“PLEASE?”
“I can’t sleep…and I have some indigestion…and I never want to eat chicken salad again…and I promise to put Round-Up on the dandelions…and what does that lady know about myths and perfect marriages anyway?…she’s writes books!”
What can I say?
Good Friday, Easter Sunday…What Did Jesus Do on Saturday?

Good Friday, Easter Sunday…What Did Jesus Do on Saturday?

On Good Friday Jesus was crucified.

On Easter Sunday he was resurrected.

So what did Jesus do on Saturday?

That question was posed at my house as we celebrated on Easter Sunday.

 

I heard a story recently about a local physician who every year on Good Friday, instead of the typical white lab coat look he normally wears, will put on a dark suit instead.  His patients, used to him looking medical like, would ask why he was wearing a suit, are you going to a wedding or going to a funeral?

“A funeral” he would answer.

“Well who died?”

“Jesus.”

This was his way of reminding people.

Kim and I went to church on Good Friday.  The service is always moving and somber.  It is, well, like a funeral.

 

When I was a kid growing up in New Jersey I didn’t go to church on Good Friday, only on Easter Sunday. After church, my parents would pack us all into the Corvair and we would make the drive north through Little Silver and Red Bank to the McDonald’s in Middletown.  This was one of the few times we would go out to eat at any restaurant so it was a real event.  Our Easter dinner would be hamburgers or cheeseburgers, French fries, and milk shakes because that is all they served back then.  You just drove up, parked, walked up to the window and got your food and ate it in the car.  No indoor playrooms or sitting at a table.  It was great.

Easter was also, other than maybe Christmas or the start of the new school year, one of the few times we got new clothes.  My sister would get a frilly dress and the rest of us little suits and maybe a hat.

In our new clothes, we would visit with the extended family and that was about it,  but it was always a nice day.

Easter traditions change.  The suits and hats are now replaced by Hawaiian shirts and khakis.  There is nothing really special about McDonald’s anymore so thankfully home cooking is a better option.  And they don’t make Corvairs anymore, maybe we should be thankful for that too.

 

I got up this past Saturday morning and did the usual; I paid a couple of bills and ran some errands.  Like other holidays, now that the kids are older, they have their own obligations so I was expecting to see them and feed them more in shifts this year and had to plan accordingly.

In the afternoon we did what we have always done this time of the year for the last almost 15 years, we took our dirt and our tools and some potted flowers and went up to the cemetery to plant new at Donny’s grave site.  Cameron helped this year getting the water and unloading the truck.

 

We cooked dinner on grill and then sat outside on the patio.   When it got a little later we put Cameron to bed.  Kim always says prayers with Cameron before bed and on this evening he thanked God for the nice day and for planting flowers for Uncle Donny.

He made a comment to Kim that Uncle Donny was “as tall as the world” or “taller than the world” and when she asked him to explain he just said that Uncle Donny “was in Heaven with Jesus.”

“Cameron how do you know that?” she asked.

“I just know” he said.

 

Church on Sunday was awesome.  To our surprise we had the whole local family with us at church and we filled a pew.  The preacher’s sermon was great.

Who will roll away the stone?  The question asked by Mary and Mary in Mark 16 verse 3 on their way to the tomb early on that Sunday morning.

The stone.

The stone of great weight blocking their way to Jesus in the tomb.

In our sermon the preacher explained that the stone represented all those hard times in our lives.  Those times of tragedy, divorce, loss of a job, an unexpected diagnosis.  All things tough.

It spoke to all of those sitting in my pew.

Just as I am sure it spoke to all of those in the pews surrounding me.

We all have had those stones.  Some have been heavier and harder to move than others. Many we still feel the weight of.

Sometimes we even plant flowers around them.

 

What did Jesus do on Saturday?

Maybe it was meant to be that way, to have that day in between.

Maybe Jesus, like us, needed a day of contemplation.

A day of reflection.

Maybe he was focusing on the weight of that stone and what was to be.

Maybe he was even starting to move that stone, as the world and life beyond it became clearer.

I think so.

How do I know?

“I just know.”

 

One of our heavier stones on the Saturday before Easter
Who is Smarter? Me or My Samsung S3 Classic Smart Watch?

Who is Smarter? Me or My Samsung S3 Classic Smart Watch?

My new Samsung Gear S3 Classic Smart Watch

Sunset in Herndon, Virginia…7:23 pm.

Daylight Savings Time, time to start working out again.

After a gluttonous six days of traveling we returned from our trip to Florida on Sunday.  Our excursion included an unexpected drive and a night in Richmond as a result of the one inch snowmageddon that cancelled our Tuesday Southwest Airlines flight out of Baltimore  causing us to be unable to reschedule a flight out of a DC area airport until Friday at the earliest.

Now back, with the extra daylight, extra few degrees, and the some extra pounds, I parked my truck and headed out at my favorite mile marker on the W & OD trail and began my second run of the week.

 

“Warm up for five minutes” a woman’s voice said.

(Wait, who is talking to me?  Wait…it’s my watch?)

 

“Three minutes left until the main exercise starts”

(Main exercise? I am dying here, this isn’t the main exercise?)

 

“Walk briskly during the warm up”

(But I am running, I can’t get any more warmed up!)

 

“You’ve reached the next stage, speed up”

(Next stage? What next stage? Should I fire up the booster rockets?)

 

“Slow down, you’re going too fast”

(So I slow down)

 

“Looking good”

(Hey…Looking good!)

 

“Great pace”

(Great Pace?)

 

“Slow down you are going to fast”

(So I slow down more but I am walking now, and I don’t want to walk, so I start running again)

 

“Speed up for 4.0 miles per hour”

(Wait, I am at my fast pace and I am only doing 15 minute miles?)

 

“Slow down a little”

(My wife bought me one of those Samsung S3 Smart Watches…)

 

“Speed up for 3.8 miles per hour”

(This is the first time I am wearing it on one of my runs…)

 

“You are running too fast”

(Can you make up your mind?)

 

“Try a little harder”

(Okay that’s it! I am walking out the rest…she’ll probably call me a wimp next)

 

“You have reached your target”

(No, actually I think I may have found my target, and I will hit it as soon as I find my hammer!)

 

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love my Samsung S3 Classic Smart watch.  When I was growing up, the only person who had a watch that you could talk through was Dick Tracy, so this is the stuff of comic books and imagination.  And, when someone sends you a text message, it provides you with really short to the point responses so you don’t have to fuss over it.

Kim text message:  Can you pick up the dry cleaning.

Me and my watch responding with canned response: Roger that

And it’s done.

 

But can you imagine it’s a Saturday in July and you have a laundry list of things to do, and the watch on your wrist keeps reminding you:

“Hey that garage isn’t going to get any cleaner with you sitting here on the deck.”

Or…

“Move faster, we still need to cut the grass.”

Or…

“Slow down, take it easy, you are hot, maybe have a cold beer.” (Well, that might be okay)

But seriously, who wants to be prompted and reminded of what you are doing or not doing in real time, especially while zoning out on a nice run?

 

So I have a great idea.

Since I love to run and I love the relaxation that running brings to me;

And,

I love my new watch, that bought for me by wife, who I also love;

I think I am just going to be old fashioned and keep my new watch for communicating like Dick Tracy did, and use my Fitbit for running!

 

Looking good?

 

Roger That!

“I picked up the dry cleaning honey”

 

 

March Comes in Like a Meatball and Out Like a Clam

March Comes in Like a Meatball and Out Like a Clam

It was Cancun in January but that didn’t matter, it was still blazing hot. Kim and I were staying at one of those “all inclusive” joints.

We met another couple from New Jersey.  The woman claimed to be a mafia princess, the daughter of someone connected. I don’t remember their last name but their first names I couldn’t forget because they were straight out of Bon Jovi’s Livin’ On A Prayer, Gina and Tommy.  And Tommy even worked on the docks.

One particular “all inclusive” evening I got into a debate with Gina, that at one point was as heated as the mid-afternoon Cancun sand.

I couldn’t convince her that mine were better.  But why did I want to?  Why take that chance?

Be careful, I thought, it’s not worth it.

So what if she uses cubes of Italian bread and I use Italian bread crumbs.

Who cares!

There was no need to settle this score.

They were just meatballs.

I know this week the world recognized International Women’s Day, but I must admit I hadn’t kept current on the events of the day or this movement.  Even my radical, activist, middle daughter Hayley hadn’t filled me in on the agenda.  With all due respect for the efforts of women around the world and in my family, ever since the weekend I had been focused on only one national event.   Last Saturday I went to the grocery store and while scanning the weekly circular I saw this reminder:

March 9th is National Meatball Day!

Meatballs.

Next to French Bread, meatballs may be my second favorite food.

And you put the meatballs on the French Bread and…

Marone…

It doesn’t get any better than that!

But what does one do on National Meatball Day?  What is the agenda?

I suppose we could share meatball stories…

Okay I did that already with the best one I could come up with.

And what else?

Make meatballs right? So I did.

 

Intrigued by the thought of a National Meatball Day, I did some research and found out March 9th is also National Crab Meat Day, and National Get Over It Day.

And, already this month we missed:

National Dadgum That’s Good Day on March 1.

National Banana Cream Pie Day on March 2.

March 3 was National Tartar Sauce Day.

And National Cheese Doodle Day was on March 5.

And, according to my research:

March 15th celebrates Everything You Think Is Wrong Day, a day where decision making should be avoided, as your thoughts are wrong.

March 16th is just the opposite as it is National Everything You Do is Right Day.  You get to feel good about everything that you do (I probably associate more with the day before).

March 18 is National Awkward Moments Day (I am familiar with this one too).

March 21 is National French Bread Day  (I might have to make meatballs again!)

March 30 National I am in Control Day.

And last but not least, March 31 is National Clams on the Half Shell Day!

 

International Women’s Day posed the question what would life be like without a women?

A Day without a woman?

I can’t imagine my life without my four women in it… life without my wife.  So I will let Bon Jovi and Gina and Tommy take it home…

we’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got
‘Cause it doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not
We’ve got each other and that’s a lot for love
We’ll give it a shot  ( from Livin’ On A Prayer, written by Jon Bon Jovi / Desmond Child / Richard S. Sambora)

 

Okay, now it’s getting late.

And I’m tired…and this meatball has got to go to bed.

And besides, tomorrow I have to get up early, its National Pack Your Lunch Day.

 

Meatballs!

 

 

A New National Obsession

A New National Obsession

February 2, 2012 was the birthday of American Pharoah, thoroughbred horse racing’s last Triple Crown winner. American Pharaoh, in 2015, was the first Triple Crown winner (i.e., winner of the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, and the Belmont Stakes) since Affirmed in 1978.  There have only been twelve Triple Crown winners since Sir Barton did it in 1919 and so, for a brief moment in time, the eyes of our country were once again watching a horse in a sport longing for the days when it truly did capture the attention of a nation.

In Laura Hillenbrand’s book Seabiscuit, An American Legend, Seabiscuit was described as “a runty little thing” whose favorite pastime was sleeping and was “inclined toward portliness.”

Yet Seabiscuit had already started fifty races, many more than horses now a days will run in a lifetime, before it is said, that he finally figured it out.

It was the mid to late 1930’s, a time when a country needed a good diversion.  Still in the grips of the Great Depression, Americans found something else to capture their attention.  It was funny looking Cinderella of a horse named Seabiscuit who became…a national obsession.

 

In the early 1960’s, with the ever looming threat of a nuclear bomb attack during the Cold War that was way beyond our ability to comprehend at such a young age, an entire elementary school of kids and their teachers made the trek from the thought to be not safe environment of our school building to the massive Monmouth Park Race course facility.  The large track building would provide us a better bomb shelter in the nuclear bomb attack we were practicing to survive.  At the end of the drill the fire department would use their fire trucks to help transport some of the kids back to the school.  I got my picture in the newspaper that day, as I was returned to Wolf Hill School on the back of a fire truck.

My grandparent’s house sat adjacent to the outer parking areas of the track in a part of Oceanport,  New Jersey called Hillcrest.  As kids we would go out into the parking lots and pick up the discarded racing programs that littered the ground and became absorbed in all the unusual horse names and the odd cryptic pencil markings of the patrons.

In spite of having grown up listening to the race announcer and the bugler from my back yard, the nuclear bomb drill that day was the only time I had ever entered the Monmouth Park Grandstand and Clubhouse facility until I got a job with the racetrack Fire Department at the age of 20.  For the next couple years and three racing seasons, I would ride an ambulance picking up jockeys and patrons track side or from the Firehouse in the stable area, referred to as the “backside.”

The thoroughbred horse racing industry is a world all its own and my brief experience of working at Monmouth Park was all it took, I was hooked.

From the rich and famous to the transient circus like nature of the backside community, the firehouse was the hub of activity for the stable area.  It had frequent visitors, including track owners and owners of the football Jets in Leon Hess and Sonny Werblin; famous trainers like Jimmy Jones of Calumet Farms and 1948 Triple Crown winner Citation fame; low level gangsters; and many, many other colorful characters.  One evening, I walked into the bowling alley located just outside the stable (backside) gate and found a kid I knew from high school on the floor with two bullet holes in his face, a victim of an argument over a game of pool with a member of the stable community, a reminder that in spite of the outward appearance of money and fortune, the racing industry had its dark side too.

I have stood in the paddock of Churchill Downs on Derby Day, cigar in hand; and on the infield rail next to the winners circle and watched Bob Baffert lend a helping lift to Victor Espinoza with “riders up” on American Pharoah just before the skies opened up with a torrential rain and American Pharoah romped to victory in his second leg of the Triple Crown.

I have learned a little about how to pour over figures and attempt to find the winner out of the Racing Form, racing’s past performances newspaper; and I have learned a lot about restraint and moderation after losing my entire paycheck one day while working at Monmouth.  I made twenty five dollars a day at the time and had to borrow money from my brother to pay my auto insurance bill.  That was good lesson and one never forgotten.

I have used Secretariat’s stretch run winning the Belmont by 31 lengths and never looking back to describe my marriage.

Secretariat winning the Belmont

My experience and the story of Sir Sidney, who was my vote for 2014 Horse of the Year, California Chrome, and the 2014 Preakness, still makes me laugh.

So you see for me, the whole industry is fascinating, very entertaining and has served as a good diversion for me in my life.

That is why this time of the year when all two year old horses become three year old horses regardless of their actual birth dates, and the prep races for the Triple Crown begin once again, I get excited.  Could this be the year that we may be watching the 13th Triple Crown winner develop before our eyes and grab the attention of not only the die-hards but the nation’s masses as well?

I understand the allure.  It’s like sitting in that movie theater, having the house lights go down and for the next couple of hours you are transported to another world.  I can recall some really bad days in my life when I found myself standing at the rail at Laurel or Monmouth just to escape.   I understand why in 1937 and 1938 a small, unlikely looking race horse could represent something positive in a time filled with hardship and draw a hundred thousand people to a race course with hundreds of thousands more glued to their radios.

On November 1, 1938 forty thousand people showed up to watch a match race between Seabiscuit and War Admiral.  The official capacity of Pimilico Racecourse at the time was 16,000.  War Admiral had won the Triple Crown the year before and was thought to be the best horse in the world.  Fans hung from the rafters as they watched Seabiscuit and War Admiral neck and neck at the turn coming into the stretch. The race would end with Seabiscuit crossing the finish line four lengths ahead.

Because in 1938 as Hillenbrand explains in the Preface of her book, though the country was still suffering from the effects of the Depression and the struggle for world power was beginning; the year’s number one newsmaker was not FDR, or Hitler, or Mussolini, or Lou Gehrig, or Clark Gable.  It was remarkably this horse, Seabiscuit, who had captured a nation.

Great stuff huh?

This year, as I break out the hawaiian shirt with the race horses on it and begin watching the prep races that will qualify the entrants with enough points to make it to the Kentucky Derby, I am hoping for another Seabiscuit, or another Secretariat, or another American Pharoah, or another War Admiral.

For I think that if there ever was time when we needed a new National Obsession I think now might be that time.  I would love to see a magnificent animal with a colorful cast of characters behind him or her,  capture the attention and imagination of a nation, populating my Facebook feed with dramatic stories of great efforts,  and hope,  and winning.

And having it all be positive and uplifting.

Yup, that is my hope.

“C’mon Seabiscuit!”

Seabiscuit coming  down the Pimlico stretch beating War Admiral
It’s February, Enigma Day is Coming!

It’s February, Enigma Day is Coming!

Last Saturday I was sitting at my computer working on my 2016 taxes when I heard a voice from up above (up the stairs) asking:

“Curt, are going to do anything to help me with cleaning the house today?”

There it was.

The reminder.

The reminder that nothing,  and I mean nothing,  will ever be as important as whatever it is your wife is doing at any given time on any given day.

I have learned that lesson over and over and over, and yet I still mess up.

I learned this while working in the garden remember?  Whenever my wife said she was going to plant a shrub, I got my shovel, because I knew that meant I was going to plant a shrub.

Needless to say, after the aforementioned question was posed to me about helping to clean the house,  I immediately jumped into action grabbing the nearest vacuum I could find and proceeded to get to work.

“What was I thinking?  Why would I think that spending time working on filing our taxes was important?”  I said to myself, not daring to utter that thought too loud, grateful for the noise of the vacuum.

Prior to making that decision to  sit down at my computer I had already:

Gone to the bank to make Kim’s car payment.

Gone to the dry cleaners.

Gone to the Super Fresh to pick up “sprinkles” for the washer, and the rest of the ingredients we needed to make the chili we wanted for dinner.

Gone to Target to get a new shower curtain.

And to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription.

Then…

Upon returning home, I put all the ingredients together and started our chili in the crock pot.

It wasn’t until then that I made that fatefully bad decision to work on the taxes.

I have made bad decisions before.

Like the time my wife told me Valentine’s Day wasn’t important, it was in fact, according to Kim, “just like any other day.”

Wikipedia says the significance of Valentine’s Day is the celebration of love and affection. In my house, at least in my opinion, every day is a celebration of love and affection! Therefore I agreed, it was like any other day!

But like an idiot, I took what my wife said to me that day literally, and thought, heck I am off the hook.

But a few days after Valentine’s Day that year, I learned differently.  It was important and when she said it wasn’t important and it was just like any other day I should have instinctively known; “wasn’t important” and “just like any other day”  meant that it was in fact very important and I should have acted accordingly.

So instead,  on this particular day after Valentine’s Day, I found myself out scouring the grocery stores and Hallmark stores for whatever was left over from all those guys who didn’t take the bait, in a desperate effort to save my sorry butt.

One young lady clerk scanning my now greatly discounted Valentine’s Day decorations and favors asked me if I was stocking up for next year.

“No.” I replied, “I am getting myself out of jam for this year.”

So I took all that stuff home, decorated the house, made a card, made some spaghetti ala Lady and the Tramp, opened a bottle, lit some candles, turned out the lights, and had Dean Martin’s That’s Amore playing when Kim walked in the front door home from work.

And while I dodged another bullet,  I learned another valuable lesson.

 

This July 1st we will be married 17 years.

Seventeen years! Seventeen years and I still feel like a newlywed!

But, like a newlywed, I am still learning.

Learning, that it doesn’t matter how many buts you try to string together:

But, but, but, but…

(followed by)

I thought, I thought…

(and)

you said, you said…

Nope,  just face it, you are toast…  get your shovel,  put the spaghetti water on, whatever you need to do.

I have learned.

I know now that when my wife says:

“Curt, are you going to do anything to help me with cleaning the house today?”

I immediately drop whatever I am doing and go for the nearest vacuum.

 

But on the other hand,  there are those days when she asks:

“Which are bigger?  The KB’s or the MB’s?”

And I am immediately reminded of why I couldn’t wait to marry her in the first place.

So,

“When a moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie” or a like a shovel maybe,

don’t try to make any sense out of it, it’s Enigma Day, just buy the candy!

It will be worth it!

 

Postscript:

There is always a chance that once I hit the “Publish” button on this particular essay, I may be learning yet another lesson.

So if you notice the title to my website has changed to “Musings of an Aging and Lonely Nobody” please pray for me.

Happy Valentine’s Day

 

 

 

 

Life is Good

Life is Good

It’s Sunday.

The morning started off “classic Christiansen.”

I was in the bathroom.  My hand knocked the toilet paper roll off its perch on the antique iron carriage step mounted on the wall.

Panic began to set in as I watched it roll across the floor to the other side of the bathroom.

Out of reach…

Great, I thought, it’s going to be one of those days.

 

Church was good.  The service was called “What is In Your Hand,” a reference to the staff a reluctant Moses was holding when God spoke to him at the burning bush and pressed Moses into service to lead His people out of Egypt.  For this morning however, the message was directed at our calling and those of us listening being pressed into service with mission work that our church was involved in.  It was a good message, but as I listened I had to acknowledge to myself there have been times in my church life I was much better at participating.  Sometimes life gets in the way even with church and helping others.  I decided there would be a time when would get better at this again.

After church it was time to get some physical activity in.  Yesterday (Saturday) at Cameron’s urging he and I went for a three mile run/walk.  He was tough and hard on the old man (me).   We vowed we would take on a 5K together in the Spring when the weather got better.  But in the mean time we would train.

Don’t bother us, we are in training!

So on Sunday after church, we went out again, this time taking Kim.  It was a great bonding time on both days and I am looking forward to that Spring 5K.

It was a Steelers weekend as well.

Savannah and Kim spent the better part of Saturday making halupki (aka stuffed cabbage or aka in Western Pennsylvania, Pigs in a Blanket) and pierogis, a ravioli kind of thing,  but this one is stuffed with mashed potatoes.    At the end of the afternoon, by my estimate, we had enough halupki and pierogies to feed the population of Pittsburgh on a game day.

But now on Sunday, with the Steelers game moved to an 8:20 pm start, we had some time to kill.  We spent the rest of the afternoon looking at old photos including some of past playoff game get-togethers;   some new photos; writing a little; and eating a lot as we half paid attention to the Packers as they beat the Cowboys.

 

 

Our newest grandchild!

One of those new photos was one sent by Alexa.  It was one of those ultrasound photos of my newest grandson or granddaughter, since I don’t know yet whether it’s a boy or a girl.

I am always amazed by these images.

I messaged Alexa to ask,  how many weeks this wonderful little baby was?

Twelve, she texted back.

Wow  I thought, twelve weeks…unbelievable…as I got a little winkage.

 

Now getting later, we put Cameron to bed with our usual ritual and I went in to his room to say goodnight to him.  I rubbed his back,  said goodnight and he said to me:

“I had a nice weekend Pop Pop.”

“Me too buddy,” I replied,  “me too.”

More winkage.

Then, as I have done the last two weekends, I put on my new Antonio Brown jersey that my wife bought me and settled down to watch the game, nervously eating my Utz pretzels one after another (like I needed more food).

Late into the night I watched.

And in the end, once again, my new AB jersey came through with another win.

The Steelers are three for three with me in my new jersey, I thought as I put my halupki laden, pierogie bulging belly to bed finally.

Like Cameron said, it was a nice weekend.

And it just goes to show you.

Even on a day that starts with your toilet paper roll leaving you stranded,

Life…is good.

Yup!
Tubas and Saxophones, The Dave Clark Five, and I Love You

Tubas and Saxophones, The Dave Clark Five, and I Love You

My first saxophone, circa 1965, but it was already old when i got it.

It was The Dave Clark Five in the early sixties that caused a young “want to be” rock star at seven or eight years old to begin to fantasize about playing the saxophone one day in a band.

Our grandson Cameron,  age six, asked Santa for a tuba for Christmas.

A tuba.

We don’t know why he wanted a tuba for Christmas.  Not that there is anything wrong with that or the tuba,  I just can’t think of any cool current bands with a tuba player.

Our ritual for putting Cameron to sleep includes Kim and me each individually going in to visit him to say goodnight. The other night while I was in saying good night to Cameron, he asked me:

“Pop Pop, why didn’t Santa bring me a tuba?”

“I don’t know,” I said.  “Maybe he wants you to first learn to play your guitar, your drums, your harmonica, and your piano.  Then it will be easier for you to learn how to play the tuba.”

So because of the Dave Clark Five, when I turned nine years old and was able to start the music program in grammar school (sorry that is elementary school for those of you who aren’t from Jersey),  I got my first saxophone.    I was in the fourth grade and played it until I was in the seventh grade.

When I was twelve I got my first harmonica.

When I was sixteen or seventeen I put my first guitar on lay-away at Jack’s Music Shop in Red Bank New Jersey.

I now have six guitars, a number that equals the number of chords I know how to play on those guitars. I have two saxophones, and I have about twenty harmonicas.

Though I have a deep love of music I think my self-diagnosed attention deficit disorder never allowed me to master any one of those instruments beyond the point of just being able to have fun.

Last night, while listening to some music, I started thinking about Cameron and his tuba.

Then I started thinking about me and my musical instruments.

So naturally that led to the thought that I had to write something about all this.  Next, I remembered I had once written something that I thought at the time was really cool, that might fit somewhere in this developing concept.

So I started searching my spiral notebooks,  and then my computer files,  but I never did find those really cool words I once wrote that I thought would be so fitting.  Though it was definitely way cooler than this,  what I wrote back then had a similar theme to this:

I don’t know why I never learned to play harp like Delbert.

And I don’t know why I never played saxophone like Clarence.

Or learned to play the guitar like Bruce, or sing like Richie Furay, or write songs like Hiatt.

 

And I don’t know now what any of this has to do with anything…except maybe confirming my ADD tendencies.

But there was something else.

Because while I was searching for those really cool lyrics that were never found, I did find this:

My Mom Often tells me

By Donny

 

My mom often tells me, I love you.

When I am in the most miserable mood ever, and my mom is yelling I still know all of this yelling will later be followed by I love you. 

This saying reassures me that everything will always be alright.  It lets me know that somebody cares for you.  This saying makes you feel like everything I’m doing is fine and I should keep up the good work.  I don’t understand why when my mom says I love you, it means a lot more than when anybody else on earth says it, I love my mom.  She is my mentor, my friend, and someone I look up to.  I couldn’t ask for a better mom.  I thank God for blessing me with a gift like this

 

I don’t know why Santa didn’t bring Cameron a tuba.

And I will never know why God took Donny away from us either.

But I am happy that I found this essay of Donny’s since Monday is Donny’s birthday and sometimes we just need to get these messages.

A message that “reassures me that everything will always be alright.” 

So happy birthday Donny!

I can assure you that your mother still loves you.

And that everything will be alright.

Oh…and tell somebody that you love them, it means something.

Donny and cousin Josh