The Gardener

The Gardener

squirrel

They are out there…

I know they are…

The Enemy.

I’ve seen them.  I hear some of them chattering and chirping and making their plans in the early morning as the sun rises.

Sometimes I see them in the trees or hiding in the woods.  Sometimes I have seen them reconnoitering in the yard.

Some are large with antlers and spots.  Some are small with long furry tails and leap from tree to tree.  Some have wings and fly.

I am The Gardener.

They are The Enemy.

 

But I wasn’t always The Gardener.

I hated dirt and digging the holes that went with working in the gardens.  My wife however, The Farm Girl, loved to garden.

And since she was The Farm Girl aka The Master Gardener (and because she was my wife), I of course became The Laborer.

And for a time this only served to fuel my hatred and my animosity for gardening.  Hey, I had a schedule of projects that needed to get done on the weekends as well, but because she was The Master Gardener (and because she was my wife), and I was The Laborer, I had to continually put my projects on hold to help her:

“Honey, can you dig this hole for me?”

“Honey can you carry that large shrub, the one in that big pot, over here so I can plant it?  And while you’re here can you just lift it out of the pot and put it in this hole you just dug please?”

“Honey can you bring that bag of dirt over here and put some around this plant that you just put in the hole that you just dug?

“Oh and honey, I need more dirt.  Can you please go to the store and get me more dirt?”

One summer I made so many trips to the store to buy dirt, I even wrote the lyrics to a song about a guy who made so many trips to the hardware store to buy dirt for his wife, that he ended up falling in love and running off with the girl at the check-out.

But that didn’t happen to me.  I never found anyone at my local Home Depot that stirred that kind of emotion.

But I did at home.  And since my wife has always been much smarter than me and always an inspiration, she knew that eventually the juices would be flowing not for the girl at the register in the Garden Section of the Home Depot, but for the Garden Section itself.

You see, gardening is like art.  It can be very creatively challenging and rewarding.  And she knew that was the hook for me.

And that brings me back to the critters:

The Seed Outlaws.

The Hosta Chompers.

The Enemy!

A couple of weeks ago, I spent a particularly long weekend re-designing the Koi pond and working in the gardens. I meticulously planted seeds (which I have never done before) in strategically ideal locations that would add a certain effect once the seeds sprouted, broke through the ground, and flowered; some laying their vines along the fences and trellises; others playing the part of the background chorus for what I envisioned as a symphony of color, in support of those that perennially awaken each new season.

So I watered.

And I waited.

And I watered some more.

And I watched.

As I watched and made my daily evening patrols to check the progress, I started seeing the holes where my seeds were once strategically nesting and the scratch marks on my freshly laid garden soil.  In addition, some of my returning lilies were missing their tops. One evening while on patrol, I startled a pair of doves pecking at my mixed flower seeds, the cowards flew away as I approached.

I was pissed.

Then last night it really got serious.  They called in Air Support.

Under a severe thunder storm warning, the rain that added four inches of water to my Koi pond, washed away much of my new dirt and the seeds I had carefully planted and had been patiently watching and waiting on.   Along with the large amounts of grass seed I had spread on Sunday, they now lay exposed to The Seed Outlaws; or germinating in my neighbor’s yard.

Those that had sprouted now had roots exposed and were leaning limply from the trauma of the storm.

It was carnage garden style.

Oh the angst of being The Gardener!

 

Okay I know, I know, I need counseling.

But I feel better.

I know, it’s a freaking garden, they’re squirrels,  and I need to get over it!

I should go have a beer, take my angst and go write something, I can throw some more dirt and seeds down tomorrow.

Okay then.

Thank you.

Facebook Memory and Holly’s Hunnies

Facebook Memory and Holly’s Hunnies

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Holly Tomlinson

I got one of those “Your Memories on Facebook” alerts today from two years ago.  I don’t usually pay much too attention to them but this one made me reflect because as the post said, it was special.  It was a Facebook post from April 3, 2014 that was me sharing my “Happier, Healthier Me” blog for that week on my personal Facebook page.  It went like this:

Hey gang, this week’s blog.  It’s a little early but it’s special……and maybe we can find a few more supporters.  Please like and share.

SSR Curt Christiansen’s A Happier, Healthier Me: Week Fourteen

I don’t remember exactly when I met the Tomlinsons; Holly and the kids. Holly’s middle child Blair was an elementary school classmate of Savannah; her oldest son Ryan was Hayley’s age and a grade ahead of Donny; and her youngest daughter Kelly a few years behind Blair and Savannah. While Kim and I were busy blending our two families, as is typical I guess, many of our good friendships grew out of those of our children. As our now extended group of friends experienced our kids and each other’s kids grow from elementary school to middle school to high school and young adulthood, we often got through those times together. Someone once said it takes a village, we had a village.

Holly was a free spirit, always the positive one, and maybe the one who got a little less worked up over what our kids were experiencing and what we parents were stressing over. Holly was my age and we shared some of same experiences growing up in the culture of 60’s and 70’s.

When my family faced tragedy and this same group of friends we had grown to love circled their wagons around us, Holly and the kids were there.

Sadly, somewhere along the way of our kids growing up, and our lives getting more complicated, Holly was diagnosed with breast cancer. She handled her illness with that same spirit that guided her whole life and was positive to the end.

On May 26th, 2011, Holly lost her battle with breast cancer.

In April of 2012, with the help of The Step Sisters Brambleton Ribbon Run, Holly’s Hunnies was born.

Holly’s kids, wanting to support the effort to fight breast cancer, but not so much on the national level of the Susan G. Komen, found The Step Sisters organization, a local Loudoun County group of women and men, who joined together seven years ago to take on the challenge of fighting breast cancer. It was the local support services who were there for Holly and so that is where the kids wanted to help out.

That first year, the team of Holly’s Hunnies who ran together in the Ribbon Run numbered about eight including the kids. Last year, my first year, the team increased to about 15 participants. This year, according to Kelly, an estimated 26 new team members have signed up and will participate on the team wearing the pink tee shirts with team name of Holly’s Hunnies, including one 9 month old team member in a “onesie.” They will run with the estimated 2000 other participants in the 10K, 5K, or the Fun Run. According to Kelly that was another reason they picked this event, all could participate, it could be a nice family thing.

I know Breast Cancer Awareness Month is not until October but since breast cancer does not follow a schedule and the need for support is ongoing, it’s always a good time to be reminded. According to Breastcancer.org it was expected that approximately 235,000 new cases of invasive breast cancer would be diagnosed in U.S. women and men last year.

The 7th annual Brambleton Ribbon Run/Walk will be held Saturday, April 5, 2014 (rain or shine). If you are not doing anything and want to help Ryan, Blair, and Kelly; and the other members of their team raise some money and awareness in Holly’s memory or maybe in memory of someone you know, come on out and introduce yourself.

We will be the ones in the pink tee shirts, with the logo, “Holly’s Hunnies”.

This was my Facebook Memory post from two years ago.   I am glad that I received that reminder today.  By the way the 9th annual Brambleton Ribbon Run/Walk will be held Saturday, April 16th if you would like to support the Step Sisters organization, Holly’s Hunnies 2016, or just get out and get some exercise.  Click the link and sign up!

Thanks for letting me share that again.

TGIGF – Thank God, It’s Good Friday

TGIGF – Thank God, It’s Good Friday

 

What is it like for a mother to lose a son?

I will never know.

Sometimes I think I understand but I never really will, how could I?

On this day a couple of thousand years ago, on Good Friday, the Bible says Mary watched her son die.

I am sure Mary relived the events of that day and of that week, every day for the rest of her life.

Now, each year many of us relive the events of that week and the nightmare of that Friday for a mother named Mary,  the mother of Jesus.

Read More Read More

Presidential Politics, I Am Mad As Hell and Can’t Take It Anymore!

Presidential Politics, I Am Mad As Hell and Can’t Take It Anymore!

christianI told myself when I started this website I was going to stay away from anything controversial; nothing that would offend people and especially no politics.

But I can’t take it anymore. I now think I need to weigh in on the subject. If this offends you I am truly sorry.

We are on the eve of the Florida Primary and this idea needs to be vetted.

I think, without a doubt if I surveyed a sampling of our younger generation, those that we will be leaving our legacy to; a sampling like my two grandsons, Cameron and Christian, I would unanimously come up with a viable candidate. And who would that candidate would be?

Mickey Mouse.

Yes, that’s right, Mickey Mouse.

He has all the qualifications we need in a President.

He doesn’t lie.

He loves ALL boys and girls.

He manages a small country otherwise known as “Mickey’s Clubhouse.”

He is an excellent problem solver.

He has fiscal experience proven by the fact that he can round up and lasso numbers 1 through 10 and place them in a corral.

He surrounds himself with a team of loyal followers that include a female mouse, male duck, a couple of dogs, a cow, and another duck who is a professor, a big cat, and a couple of chipmunks. Oh, and a Giant.

And that is just his inner circle, his cabinet; that I would speculate looking this way:
Donald Duck – Vice President
Minnie Mouse – Secretary of State
Daisy – Interior
Goofy – Secretary of the Treasury
Willie the Giant – Secretary of Defense
Clara Bell – Labor
Professor Von Drake – Health and Human Services
Pete the Cat – definitely Homeland Security
Chip – Agriculture
Dale – Education
And I am sure Mickey can find a few more to fill in the rest.

But that is not the best of it.

Most importantly, Mickey Mouse has Mouseketools!

Can you imagine how much stronger our already fine military would be with the help of a Mouseketool?

National Security? Hurricane relief? No problem!

Just think about it.

North Korean President Kim Jong-un swinging his hydrogen bomb around again?

“Oh Toodles…………..Oh Toodles………… ”

That’s it, done. Go have another cup of coffee.

And what about vacation White Houses? Who needs Camp David, we’d have Disney World and Disneyland!

And how about those State Dinners? They would be like character breakfasts at the Contemporary Resort! How fun would that be?

And can’t you just picture Vladimir Putin doing the “Hot Dog Dance?”

I am telling you, I think I am on to something here…….

Who’s with me?

Well that’s it then!

It’s unanimouse…..!

I mean it’s unanimous!

Thank you my fellow Americans!

 

Gray Lives Matter

Gray Lives Matter

stairs

Deep in thought, I take what seems like it has to be the last step up the stairs to my level of the parking garage.

Earlier that day, I heard a story on the radio about research done at Concordia University in Montreal, Canada that shows that climbing stairs daily can greatly improve the gray matter in your brain as you get older.

Gee, I thought, I could sure use some more gray matter, and also for sure, I am getting older.

As I reached the landing I decided to peek around the corner to see if this was my level.
The sign over the elevator said Level Two.

C’mon Level Two? I thought. How can that be?

Oh well, I needed Level Five

I continued, this time much more aware of my progress. Acutely aware I would say as I landed Level Five.

Wow, it’s amazing at this age, how quickly you lose it. Though I have been running for almost thirty years now, it’s not always been consistent. There have been periods, usually associated with times of life stress, when I have taken a break from running. Some of those breaks lasted a long time, like the year after Donny’s accident, and last year for instance.
But just two years ago I was running ten miler’s and I did my first and only half marathon.
Now, I am struggling to get to my truck on Level Five of the Reston Hospital parking garage.

The same study also showed a correlation with education in that for every year of education, the brain appeared a year younger.

I am not sure I am going to go back to school at this point but you never know. I have been obsessively reading, though mostly with audio books so I guess technically not “reading”. Maybe, however, I will get some gray matter credit for that. Or maybe I just need to double up on the stair climbing.

Though this growing old thing is something I think about a lot, I don’t obsessively worry about it. I just have so much more I want to do, and so in some ways I guess I am looking forward to it. All those things I was unable to do while “growing up”; those things that I put off until later in life when I could afford to do them in time and otherwise. I want a shot at those. But in my world it is nothing elaborate, nothing excessive. It’s just some peace, a break from worry, more time with my wife, more time with my family, more time with a fishing pole. And as the title of this website implies, Musings of an Aging Nobody: what I want to do when I grow up, more time doing this sort of thing.

So if I want to accomplish all that it will be important to stay healthy in mind and body. The truth is, we should all be climbing more stairs because let’s face it, America is graying and gray lives matter! Gray matter matters!

See you in the stairwell.

 

“A Writer Who Waits for Ideal Conditions Under Which to Work Will Die Without Putting a Word on Paper” E. B. White

“A Writer Who Waits for Ideal Conditions Under Which to Work Will Die Without Putting a Word on Paper” E. B. White

rod two

Nothing…

I’ve got nothing…

It’s been weeks, yet still nothing…

It’s Saturday.

I am still in bed.

No ideas….no words….nothing comes to me.

Normally I am up early but today I don’t feel like getting up.

Suddenly my cell phone rings, it’s  Alexa calling to do a video call.

Yikes! I am still in bed, my hair looks like a rendition of an early 70’s Rod Stewart bad hair day!
I guess you can stay in bed, but nowadays you can’t hide.

Christian, my almost 9 month old grandson, is demonstrating his new ability to say and wave “bye.”  It is precious. But then we have to say “bye” for real and it is over way too soon.

Now I am still in bed…

I still have nothing…

I remind myself creativity takes time, you have to clear your mind.
But how can I?
I have work, I have worries, I have responsibilities, I have a family.

It is believed that John wrote the Book of Revelations while exiled on the Isle of Patmos.
And Nelson Mandela wrote “Conversations with Myself” while in prison.

I can just imagine it:

“Kim, I think I am going to take off for four months, go to an island, and write my book”

“Sure you are….now can you take out the garbage?”

Or

“Kim, I think I am going to go rob the Walgreen’s so that I can go to prison where I will write my book”

“Okay honey, just remember we are serving Communion next Sunday in church”

Ah but maybe I am just thinking about this too much.
Maybe I just need to get out of bed and take out the garbage.
Something is bound to come to me sooner or later.

Written sometime in the early afternoon, Saturday March 5, in my truck while parked at the Fairfax County Solid Waste Recycling Center (AKA, The Dump) where I took out the garbage.

Bowling for Cameron

Bowling for Cameron

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In 1974 when I turned 18 years old I joined the Oceanport Hook & Ladder Fire Company. It was a great experience and I made a lot of good friends. In addition to putting out fires, the fire company offered many social activities for its members. One of those activities was a Fireman’s bowling league. As a new OPH&L member I was a good conscript for the bowling team. The only problem was I had never in my life picked up a bowling ball.

One of those good fireman friends was Kevin Higgins. Kevin’s father was a retired Colonel in the Army and Oceanport had an Army base right next to it named Fort Monmouth. Since Kevin was the son of an officer he had open access to the Fort communicated by the type of sticker on the bumper of his V0lkswagon bug. I always thought it was funny when we drove through the gates, a couple of long haired kids in a VW, the MP’s would stand at attention and salute us.

One day, Kevin and another friend, Joe Centanni, decided they were going to take me bowling,  so with Kevin’s access to the base, we went to the bowling alley on Fort Monmouth. We got the shoes, got some refreshments, found the lane and I got ready to begin my bowling career.

After a couple of pointers from my friends I picked up a nice 16 pound bowling ball, all 120 pounds of me, and stood up in the lane for my first bowling experience.
I studied the pins intensely as I went through the motions in my head that would be my bowling form. I imagined carefully placing the ball squarely down the center of the lane and knocking down all the pins for a strike. With my friends encouraging me, I focused on the pins as I took those first couple of real steps. As the choreography unfolded, my arm position slowly changed from holding the ball in front of me to moving the ball down and past my hip as I attempted to create the back swing that would generate the force and speed I would need to get the ball down the lane to knock down all the pins.

The only problem was, when I hit the peak of my back swing I launched the bowling ball not at the pins but at my friends. I turned in horror and embarrassment as I watched people scattering everywhere as that 16 pound cannonball came crashing at them.

I thought for sure at that point my bowling adventure would be over. But after everyone composed themselves, got settled down, and everyone in the place stopped laughing, my friends encouraged me to try again. This time I not only managed to throw the ball in the right direction, but I knocked down all the pins for a strike. Though technically not a strike, since my first ball went into the crowd, I felt good about it.

As a result of my newly acquired pastime, I became an official member of the Oceanport Hook & Ladder Fire Company bowling team in the Fireman’s League. Soon after that I even got my own bowling ball with my initials on it and a bowling bag to carry it in.

This past weekend I went bowling again. I don’t remember the last time I had bowled since other than a class in college, my bowling league days ended in New Jersey. My grandson Cameron loves to go bowling so on this day he wanted to take his Pop Pop and his Mimi bowling. Since I remembered seeing my bowling bag somewhere in the basement, I hustled down and looked around until I found it. I had to use a vacuum cleaner to remove the heavy layer of dust that had engulfed my circa 1974 bowling bag. After a final clean up with a Clorox wipe I was ready. I proudly walked out to the car where the family was waiting for me, with my 42 year bowling bag carrying my 42 year old bowling ball with my initials on it. My wife was very impressed.

And, by the end of the afternoon, my daughter was also very impressed that there was actually a sport that I could be considered competitive in. Not that a score of 149 would necessarily be considered competitive,  today at least, I was able to beat my five year old grandson and my wife. On this day, as far as they were concerned, I was Earl Anthony.

Of course, having the bumpers up didn’t hurt either.

So today I remember my first bowling experience thanks to my friends Kevin and Joe as I look forward to a new bowling chapter in my life, this time with my grandson Cameron.
Happy Bowling!

This One’s For You Kim

This One’s For You Kim

 

You know the feeling, I know you do.

That emotional rush that happens every now and then.
It’s not always the same and you don’t always know when to expect it.

Sometimes it comes with goose bumps and you feel it down the back of your neck.
Maybe your heart beats faster and your face gets flushed.
Or it’s an anxious, nervous feeling in your stomach.
It might be that uncontrollable need to smile.
Or it might be the tears that come when nothing is sad.
It could be all of those things and then again, it may not be any of them.
It may be just be that quiet feeling of contentment as you close your eyes to sleep.

And you might experience it in other places and at other times.

Like about one minute and twenty eight seconds into Journey’s “Faithfully” when the drums come in,
Or while watching Martina McBride singing “Over the Rainbow” two rows from the stage.

But it gets better.

Remember that first dance at your daughter’s wedding?
And even more special, that first dance at that same daughter’s second wedding.

It comes while holding your first grandchild for that very first time.
And just as powerfully, while holding your second grandchild for the first time.

And there are many other moments and situations as you know.

Sometimes it comes with words, sometimes it doesn’t, and sometimes it makes words impossible.

But especially for me, it’s the first time I saw her, and the last time I kissed her, no matter how many years, days, minutes, and seconds have fallen in between.

Wait, I think Kim just got home…….

“Hi honey, I’m home”…..

See, there it is again……….

It’s a Long Road, But I Am Here Still Truckin’!

It’s a Long Road, But I Am Here Still Truckin’!

lynn 2
From Facebook
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From SRHS Class of 1974 Yearbook

Lynn Kleiberg White

Last week while most of us in the northeast and mid-atlantic were worrying about a snowstorm, another act of God was occurring. Someone, who we had become very accustomed to lifting us up, was finally herself being lifted up.

It’s a long road but I am still here truckin’!

Lynn Kleiberg White wrote that in a Facebook post on September 3, 2015. It was a long road, and while she was still here truckin’, she inspired us all.

The Re-Connect

Though we were friends in high school, I don’t know if I had seen Lynn since then, at least not until the SRHS Class of 1974 reunion in July of 2014.  However, sometime in early 2014 I connected with Lynn on Facebook. She was a great supporter of me and my Healthier, Happier Me blog, always with encouraging comments as well as for the races Kim and I were running that year.

Lynn: I will have to give the song a listen! Nice blog today Curt!

Lynn: Thanks Curt! You are a great storyteller! I always enjoy reading your blog! Good luck in your half marathon! I made it through the gamma knife radiation with flying colors yesterday. Very relieved! You have a great weekend too!

Lynn: Way to go Curt! Your efforts are for such a good cause!

Lynn: A physical? Oh BADWORD! Just kidding… July… thoughts of our reunion should help to keep you on the right track!

I didn’t spend much time on Facebook in 2015, so I lost some contact again.    Since our recent friendship was more of an on line event, I decided to go back and  review and reflect on what what I remembered and what I missed.

The Reunion

SRHS CLASS OF 1974!!!!!!

lynn 6

July 28, 2014
Enjoying the reunion!

lynn 7

The Humor

October 24, 2014

lynn 8

 

June 25, 2015 ·
Lol

lynn 9

 

The Always Positive and Always Encouraging

July 25, 2015
A huge THANK YOU to all my facebook family & friends for all of the Happy Birthday wishes! I am so glad that this chemo is not kicking my ass so hard that I can’t enjoy life, right now I am living it! Enjoying every moment & this beautiful weather! Thanks again y’all!

lynn 10

lynn 3

lynn 4

August 15, 2014
My old friend Kate Farrell Reilly has invited me to be part of the Positive Postings challenge. The concept is to post 3 positive thoughts a day for 5 days & to invite 3 friends to do the same.

August 16, 2014
Day 2 of the Positive Postings challenge. …..

August 17, 2014
Positive postings… things I am grateful for. Day 3 of 5…

August 18, 2014
Ok… Day 4 of 5 of Positive Postings… things I am grateful for…..

August 19, 2014
Day 5 of 5 of Positive Postings. Things that I am grateful for…

 

lynn 13

lynn 14

 

The Fight

July 30, 2014 ·
This fight is getting harder & harder…

September 23, 2014 ·
Standing Tall… It is a long & bumpy road, but I am still moving along!

lynn 15

November 10, 2014 ·
6:20 pm Update: Sigh… taking a deep breath as I let the good news & not quite the news I expected today news settle in……I’m gonna kick that cancers ass! If “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is true, then I am a friggin, SUPERWOMAN! Thanks for your love & support!

December 14, 2014 ·
Hello friends & family! … I have started with my new chemotherapy routine & am coping so far. ……………Keeping my fingers crossed!
Yesterday was a great day!

June 15, 2015
Well, it is Chemo time again, Hooray! I am always glad to get treatments as planned!  … my team is still debating which way we will go with radiation. The internal radiation is not going to be done & I will likely have 5 external radiation treatments & some cryocautery to shrink the biggest tumor in my left lung. Looking forward to breathing easier!

August 15, 2015 ·
Chemo on Thursday & wide awake Friday night… Wondering & worrying… The new chemo is working on some tumors, but not all of them…….. I hope it is not 30 treatments again (I have done 30 three times in the past.)   … It was 12 years ago this week that I felt the lump that changed my life. Damn! I hate cancer!

September 3, 2015 ·
Radiation #7 of 14 today at Monmouth Medical- yay… half way there! Followed by chemo session #10 today at Adult Hemotology & Oncology. ……Now to schedule the Brain MRI & have the 3rd cryocautery procedure on 9/11. It’s a long road, but I am here still truckin’!

September 10, 2015 · Little Silver, NJ ·
Sometimes things get pretty crazy… I have been tolerating my radiation treatments pretty well (11 down, 3 to go) I am at chemo right now…….Tomorrow I will have radiation followed by another Bronchoscopy with cryocautery. Monday I will have radiation & a brain mri to be sure that tumor is gone. Tue will be my final radiation treatment. Thurs chemo again, then I will have a break for a week (thank goodness!) Thanks for your prayers for healing & your notes of concern. I hope that all of my fb friends & family are doing well!

October 7, 2015 ·
Hooray… Brain Radiation treatments are complete! Now on to today’s Upper Endoscopy with balloon dilation & CT/PET scan tomorrow. I’ll be glad when this week is over!

The End

January 14 at 5:53pm

Our friend Lynn Kleiberg White could use some positive energy, love and good juju right now. She’s having a difficult time since being pretty much confined to her bed for the last few weeks. She has to use oxygen and isn’t able to get out and enjoy the fresh air and beautiful view of the Keys. She has an appt with her onc next week to see what’s what. Cancer SUCKS! I’m posting this here with her permission.
So send some love or maybe post a nice nature pic of something she’ll enjoy. We all love you Lynn and are standing beside you in a circle of support and love.

January 23 at 9:53pm

Our dearest Lynn Kleiberg White is now at peace. She was the strongest person I have ever met. I admired her so much for her strength & determination to live. No more struggles to over come. You are I God’s arms now. Rest in peace. You will be in our hearts forever. We love you.

Final Thoughts

Lynn did much to prepare the rest of us for the harsh realities of what life can bring,  all the while encouraging us to seize the moment and not dwell on the negative.  Her bravery was inspiring, and surely her pain unimaginable and it truly was a long road.  I feel blessed I was able to experience her friendship again for a brief period.  My prayers go out to Lynn’s family and friends who shared her life and were always there.  From what I read,  you were awesome and inspiring too!

October 16, 2014 and “remembered” on October 16, 2015

Wish I was here..

i wish i was there

I am sure you are now my friend, I am sure you are.

 

September 3, 2014 ·

lynn 18

 

Sheltering in Place Prodigiously

Sheltering in Place Prodigiously

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Cameron’s First Prodigious Snowstorm

I am currently sheltering in place.

I have never done that before. Or at least if I have, I have never called it that before. Sheltering in place is a frequently used term now but it is usually associated with something sinister. Thankfully I have never had to experience that and certainly feel for those who have.

But the radio stations are calling what I am doing this weekend sheltering in place. It makes it sound kind of scary and I feel like maybe I should be concerned.

Unlike the last time it snowed really bad in the DC area and I had to spend days in the house with my wife and kids without work to worry about….it was just called chillin’ then, having fun, relaxing in my place.

But now I am sheltering in place and now I look around the room and see my wife, my daughter, my grandson, and my cat….and I wonder what sinister deed should I be worried about?

Is Savannah going to make her hamburger and codfish casserole again for dinner tonight? That could certainly be scary…

And will the power go out causing us to lose the cable TV and the internet? That would be dastardly too!

And what is the cause of all this commotion?

This Prodigious snow storm they are calling Jonas!

pro·di·gious

1. remarkably or impressively great in extent, size, or degree.
Synonyms: enormous, huge, colossal, immense, vast, great, massive, gigantic, mammoth, tremendous, inordinate, monumental

Okay I am not ashamed to admit that I had to look that word up after the news guy on the radio used it to describe this storm. I have always been mindful of the fact that my vocabulary was not prodigious. And though I have tried to work on that, I have always been a little self-conscious about it; especially since I enjoy writing.

The radio announcements kept encouraging everyone to stock up on nonperishables in case the power went out; to get gas for our cars and generators; to get batteries for our flashlights; and to get cash in case the power goes out and the ATM’s don’t work.

And the people listened because the truth is there has been a prodigious reaction by everyone who lives around here to this prodigious storm and there is probably not a gallon of milk between here and Pittsburgh.

Well, at least most listened.

You see, all that was kind of a problem for me. A week from payday and my bank account was anything but prodigious. I had a prodigious amount of batteries but they were the little ones since my wife and I didn’t communicate well at Christmas and we both bought prodigious amounts of AA and AAA batteries. So I scoured the house for little flashlights… you know the kind they hand out at trade shows or make key chains out of.

And I didn’t have any nonperishables. I had plenty of food in the freezers….but those are perishable. I suppose I could barbeque as the thaw occurred but did I have enough propane? And I suppose if things got really bad around here we could eat the cat…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

food, yeah we could eat the cat food since that’s a nonperishable… but no I think I would be digging my way to a MacDonald’s in a warm State by that point…….

But then it occurred to me that maybe what’s really sinister about all this is this word prodigious……..maybe that’s what is really bothering me.

Maybe it isn’t just my vocabulary that is not prodigious, maybe that is not the only thing I have to be self-conscious about. Maybe there are other aspects of me that are not prodigious…my 401K…my master bathroom…my intelligence…my chest hair…

..so just leave me alone while I shelter in place.

Oh well, I guess we all can’t be prodigious in every way.  At least I have lots of batteries for the remote control.

You know I always thought it was really annoying when you could tell that someone just learned a new word because they insisted on using that new word prodigiously.

Man I hate that.