WARNING: This post contains strong language and may use words that may be unsuitable for younger audiences. Reader discretion advised.

 

If you have read some of my posts, you know that my family and particularly my grandchildren often provide the inspiration for my writing.

You might remember Cameron and I sitting on the deck making fart noises into our walkie-talkies; or him telling me that “when I am not alive anymore, he wants my truck;” or the evening I was tucking him into bed after Christmas when he asked poignantly “Pop Pop, why didn’t Santa bring me a tuba?”

 

Then there was Christian providing me the profound “Everybody in Hollywood farts;” or the beating I took with his dramatic “Pop Pop, I haven’t seen you in years and years;” or the Easter Pageant when asked which part did his friend play and he said, “He was Matthew the cash register.” (But I think he meant tax collector).

 

This week it was Christian again who provided some comic relief and writing inspiration.

Christian, who is now in the first grade, attends Hollywood Hills Elementary School in Hollywood, Florida.  This is his first year in an actual live classroom.

After school he attends the Hollywood Hills United Methodist Church Pre School and After School program.  He has been attending this school for a few years now.

This week, he volunteered his time at the church aftercare program to provide some free classes.  His first class he offered was MAP CLASESS.  They were offered at 3:15 ESTERN to 4:00 PM on WENDSDAY & FRIDAYs. And he offered an area where you could SiAN UP HERE but he cautioned “DON’t CROSS the City BORDERS” and to “ASK Christian BEFORE SIANING UP.”

As you can see clearer in this second photo his sign-up white board was displayed prominently on an easel in the church.

 

Christian loves maps and loves tracking hurricanes on his maps and drawing maps as well.  I still have some drawings on my refrigerator from Christmas 2019, the last time he was at my house.

 

But it was the second class he offered this week that gained the most attention.

Those would be his Sh*t WORD CLASESS for grades K – 1 offered on TUESDAY ThURSDAY & FRiDAYS.

After some research it was learned that his intention was to have classes for Sight Words for grades K – 1, but innocently, of course, misspelled Sight as Shit.

I have to admit, I don’t know sh*t about what “sight words” are…I had to look it up.

But I do know some sh*t words!

 

Wouldn’t we all want to be holding a class on Sh*t words?

 

I can just imagine my class:

 

“Okay class, today’s word is “Sh*tshow.”  Would anyone like to volunteer to use the word sh*tshow in a sentence?”

“OOO” “OOO” (Bobby raising hand and waving excitedly).

“Okay Bobby, what is your sentence?”

“This Congress is a real “Sh*tshow!”

“Now, now Bobby, you know we don’t like to talk politics in this class.”

Bobby, thinking to himself “it’s about sh*t words…how do you not talk about politics?”

“Well okay then, how about ‘this class is a real “sh*tshow!’  “And not only that, you are a real “Sh*thead.”

“Very good Bobby! You will get extra credit for using two “Sh*t” words in your presentation!”

“Now class, before I lose my “Sh*t”…would anyone like to talk about maps?”

 

I would like to thank the Hollywood Hills United Methodist Church Pre and After School teachers for not correcting or removing Christian’s white board ad and encouraging his efforts.

 

I am very proud of all my grandsons; Cameron, Christian, and Ethan and I would encourage and support them in whatever venture they would like to pursue.

Yup, I am one proud Pop-Pop.

 

And that ain’t no bullsh*t.

 

Postscipt:

By the way that school photo of Christian above is hot off the press and received just today.