Dentophobia
I lay there tethered to the chair by the mask pumping gas into my nose.
The bright light shining directly into my face was dimmed only by the shaded glasses meant to protect my eyes from objects unforeseen.
All the prayers I had uttered in the days and hours leading up to this moment seemed to be in vain as my heart raced and my hands gripped whatever I could grab on to.
“Jesus why have you forsaken me?” I questioned to myself, unable to speak, my mouth chocked open like the exit door I would have liked to be going through.
Why?
It’s too late, I am trapped, fight or flight is not an option for me.
Gagging and choking, I begged God for the end to come quickly.
Fear and anxiety are horrible things.
The following, according to the internet, are said to be the top 10 fears or phobias:
- Arachnophobia: an intense fear of spiders and other arachnids
- Ophidiophobia: an intense fear of snakes
- Acrophobia: an intense fear of heights
- Aerophobia: an intense fear of flying
- Cynophobia: an intense fear of dogs
- Astraphobia: an intense fear of thunder and lightning
- Trypanophobia: an intense fear of injections
- Social phobia: an intense fear of social interactions
- Agoraphobia: an intense fear of places that are difficult to escape, sometimes involving a fear of crowded or open spaces
- Mysophobia: an intense fear of germs, dirt, and other contaminants
I have a couple of sons-in-law who fit the bill with the spiders.
And Kim hates needles and snakes so I guess she is trypanophobic and ophidiophobic.
I suffer from a little acrophobia and agoraphobia.
But my real fear is not on the list of top ten.
My real phobia is… Dentophobia.
Fear of the dentist.
Though I have never enjoyed going to the dentist, I haven’t always had the level of fear and anxiety about going to the dentist that I have now.
It was one botched root canal and subsequent root canal to fix the botched one that put me over the edge.
Having no more patience, I went to an oral surgeon who put me to sleep and took what was left of the tooth out entirely. Bingo, I woke up and the problem was gone and I didn’t remember a thing.
But since then, other than cleanings, which I now hate as well, I have avoided dealing with issues with my teeth.
Until this week.
Two broken crowns I had been living with for quite a while finally had to be repaired.
So, I found a dentist that was supposed to help me with my dental anxiety.
Nitrous Oxide was the plan.
A good plan maybe?
Maybe for most.
But I learned, on the battlefield and under fire, that I must have a high tolerance to Nitrous Oxide.
Because it didn’t phase me a bit.
And for two hours I endured the equivalent of spiders, snakes, and dogs crawling all over me while I was trapped flying high in a small plane with no way out in a thunderstorm, as I laid helpless in a pool of dirt, germs, and other contaminants.
It was awful.
I couldn’t return to work.
I was too traumatized.
And to top it off, that night, another small ache I had been ignoring in a tooth on the other side of my mouth suddenly became a big ache.
Probably the result of constant teeth clenching I was experiencing in the weeks leading up to my appointment.
So as a result, the anxiety set in again.
Now what was I going to do?
I contemplated calling the oral surgeon again and just having it pulled because at this point I am thinking who needs teeth, I would rather be tube fed than to have to go through what I went through with the dentist.
But then I thought it would be weird to show up for my follow up appointment to have my permanent crowns put in, and for them to find another tooth was missing out of my mouth.
“Wasn’t there a tooth there a few weeks ago?”
“A tooth? What tooth?”
No that would be awkward.
So, I called my dentist back and explained my problem, asked for a different plan, and made an appointment.
So far however, I haven’t heard the new plan.
I may still need that oral surgeon.
In the meantime I will suffer with my anxiety.
Because according to the Cleveland Clinic, in addition to the chills, dizziness, sweating, heart palpations, nausea, shaking, and upset stomach that dentophobia can cause, some people may experience:
- Crying when thinking about going to the dentist
- And have insomnia before a dental appointment
So, Kim, don’t be surprised if I keep you up until my appointment on Monday.
Hand me a tissue, its going to be a long weekend.