ære din far og mor
Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”
I heard a good sermon recently. It was about family dynamics, all aspects really, fathers and mothers; fathers and their children; children and their parents.
Honor your father and your mother and things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on earth.
I hope my kids are paying attention.
And they want a long life.
Today would have been my dad’s 96th birthday. Needless to say I miss my dad, I miss him sharing stories, I miss sharing his stories.
My dad wrote the note above to his Uncle Gustav in Norway, and sent it along with the photo posted. I am not exactly sure of the date of the photo, but I am going to guess based on how Kim and I look, it was around 2001, so my dad would have been just a few years older than I am right now. This note and the photo, were shared with me by one of Uncle Gustav’s daughters, one of my dad’s cousins.
A couple of months ago, I was researching my mother’s great-grandfather Charles H. Rosch, who also had some interesting stories to tell that I hope to share someday, in my My Heritage account.
I found the name of a person who was also digging into that side of my family and decided to reach out to her using the My Heritage messaging component, an area of the app I had never visited.
Once there, I sent my message and then noticed I had a message in my inbox from May of 2023, a month before my father died. The message was from a cousin of my dad’s named Bjørg. She explained in her message that her father was Talmar Gustav Jansen, and that Bolette (my grandmother Sophie, Bolette was her first name) was her aunt and that she was the youngest grandchild of Grete and Theodor Jansen, my father’s grandparents.
So it turns out that Bjørg, is my father’s youngest cousin and is in fact younger than me at 67 years old. My grandmother had many siblings, Uncle Gustav was the youngest and only four years old when my grandmother emigrated through Ellis Island to America.
Eventually, Gustav himself would come to the United States. He had his fiancée Anna come over from Norway, and they were married in Brooklyn. My father’s family attended the event, and I have seen photos of their wedding. According to Bjørg, her two oldest siblings were born in the U.S. Then, after about ten years, Gustav and Anna returned to Norway with their children.
In my Norwegian American family, legend had it that “onkel” Gustav returned to Norway and introduced American-style split-level houses to Norway.
Having always heard that story, of course, I had to ask Bjørg if that was accurate.
Bjørg confirmed that to be true and even said a local newspaper wrote an article about it. She also said he traveled back and forth from Norway to the United States many times, bringing back cars and other items he could sell for “good money” in Norway.
I guess my brother Carl and I got that family buying and selling trait honestly.
When my dad was still active on Facebook, he told us he was communicating with at least one of his cousins in Norway. It turns out it was not Bjørg since she is not active on Facebook (a smart one), but she suggested that it might be another cousin named Ove Ludvigsen. So I dipped into my dad’s Facebook page and sure enough, I found Ove. And just last night, I reached out to Ove myself on social media. Ove is the son of my grandmother’s sister Ragna Johanne.
I must say, when I first read that first message from Bjørg, and I realized I had received it only a month before my dad left us, I was very sad. I know it would have made him really happy to learn another one of his cousins was reaching out to him.
Instead, I apologized to Bjørg and explained that I was just now seeing her message and that my dad had passed away about a month after her inquiry.
Now, almost two years later, it is I who is really happy to have connected with family, hear their stories, and share my dad with them.
And even though Bjørg admits that her “engelsk” is not that good, she has since mastered Google Translate and has been able to learn about my dad through the stories he shared with me.
Honor your father and your mother and things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on earth.
My father role modeled that for us. He and his siblings took good care of my grandparents in their later years.
And he lived a long life.
I don’t know how that is going to work out for me and Kim and our siblings. It didn’t work out so well for Carl and he was a great example. But all we can do is try our best.
The rest is in God’s hands.
And once again, with my father providing the inspiration, I am again reminded of the words of Nichole Spector:
…the fact that in the end, we all become stories. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, sure, but also: words to words.
More words to words, more words to share.
And to answer your question, Pop, according to Bjørg, your grandfather lived to be 99 years old.
So thanks Pop, and Happy Birthday.
Postscript:
ære din far og mor means honor thy father and mother in Norwegian…I think…
