I Wish I Had

Donny

Today is July 18th.

This morning Cameron and I were sitting on the deck making fart noises through our walkie talkies and laughing hysterically.

When you are seven and sixty-one it is okay to make fart noises.  Though I will admit this is the first time I have ever made fart noises through a walkie talkie.  If you were monitoring channel 21 earlier today I apologize.

From my journal, I read this from July 16,  2015:

This is the text message I got from Kim today:

“Thirteen years ago today was the last time I saw Donny”

When Kim took the kids to the airport that morning of July 16, 2002 to put them on a plane to Las Vegas to see their father who they hadn’t seen in a while, she was scared.  She hated to fly, and the decision to let Donny and Savannah make this trip in the first place was a difficult one.  Now she was at the security gate about to send them through to the area only ticketed passengers were allowed to go.

Security was tight, after all it had been less than a year since 9/11.  When Kim encountered the security agent checking tickets she begged and pleaded and told the man about her kids and that it was their first time flying, the situation in general,  and most of all her anxiety.  Would he just let her go through and wait with them at the gate?

This nice man, at the risk of his job probably, let her go through.

In the gate area they ate food at Friday’s and at some point Donny said she could leave, that they would be fine.  Though she walked away, Kim didn’t leave the area and she watched them until they boarded the airplane, they were unaware.

Coincidentally, on July 16th 2002, President George W. Bush announced his plan for strengthening homeland security in the wake of the September 11, 2001(911) terrorist attacks on New York and Washington, D.C. He created the Department of Homeland Security and the color-coded warning system that different levels of threat.

Thanks to the pre Homeland Security airport employee who took a big risk, Kim had the small consolation of a moment and a memory.

Tomorrow it will be 15 years since Donny’s accident and it is still difficult.  We have never yielded to the advice to “get over it” or to “move on”.  And though we were told that God wouldn’t give us more than we could handle, there are many times when we can’t handle it.  Time doesn’t heal, it just changes the pain.

 

I never made fart noises with Donny.  He was a little older and I was a little younger and we were way too cool for that.

But you know what?

I wish I had.

I wish I had done a lot of things.

So if Cameron wants to make fart noises through our walkie talkies, I’m going to be right there with him.

I never want to “wish I had” again.

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12 Responses to I Wish I Had

  1. Susan Martin says:

    Beautiful Curt. Life is short and you need to take advantage of every single happy moment.

  2. Kate says:

    Very nice Curt!

  3. Colleen Thompson says:

    Couldn’t have said it better, Curt. Thank you

  4. Tony says:

    Hugs to you, Kim, Savannah and Cameron. Although I never met Donny, I visit him several times a year to keep the memory of his story alive. God Bless you all.

  5. Cassandra says:

    Love this curt! I miss Donny so much! Quite frequently I think he would have been in my wedding! He would be 30 now! What would he be doing? Kids, married etc..he was a brother to me! Those summers we has as kids are precious memories! I pray for you guys often as you come to mind!

  6. Peg says:

    Beautiful!! We lost my brother in 1992, and as you said, the pain is not gone, just different. My “I wish I had” times have definitely changed how I am, particularly with other members of my family.

  7. Peg says:

    Beautiful!! We lost my brother in 1992, and as you said, the pain is not gone, just different. My “I wish I had” times have definitely changed how I am, particularly with other members of my family.

  8. Peg says:

    Beautiful!! We lost my brother in 1992, and as you said, the pain is not gone, just different. My “I wish I had” times have definitely changed how I am, particularly with other members of my family.

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