If you want to get to heaven
Over on the other shore
Stay out of the way of the blood-stained bandit
Oh good shepherd
Feed my sheep

One for Paul
One for Silas
One for to make my heart rejoice
Can’t you hear my lambs are callin’
Oh good shepherd
Feed my sheep

 

I am home alone again.

Kim had to make an unexpected trip to Pennsylvania.

I haven’t written anything in a while.

I haven’t felt like it.

I haven’t had any of that living inspiration that Elizabeth Gilbert introduced in Big Magic and I wrote about a couple/three years ago, alive in me lately.

But since I am home alone again, I thought I would give it a try.

So will just apologize now for whatever comes out later.

 

I kept singing the Jefferson Airplane song Good Shepherd today.  For years I have just assumed it was a cool song written by Grace, Jorma, Paul, and the rest of the gang.  It turns out it has its origins in a 19^th century hymn written by a Methodist minister.  Go figure. Makes sense I guess.

Oh Good Shepherd, feed my sheep.  A fitting song for today I suppose.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent.

I remember when I was kid, seeing some of my classmates come in to school with ashes on their foreheads, and thinking how mortified I would be if I had to go to school like that (well in true creative non-fiction transparency,  since mortified probably wasn’t in my vocabulary at the time, embarrassed would be more accurate).

I grew up trying everything in my power to avoid embarrassment.

I thought Lent was cool though.  Of course I didn’t understand at the time what Lent was but I always wanted to be able to say “yeah I can’t have that, I gave it up for Lent”  when someone offered me Jiffy Pop or Ovaltine or something like that.

Now I understand better what Lent is. A time beginning with Ash Wednesday and ending just before Easter that represents the forty days that Jesus spent in the Wilderness. He had just been baptized, and then was led into the Wilderness to be humbled, and tested by temptation.

Jesus fasted those forty days.

He gave up food.

He suffered physically to grow spiritually.

As I recall in the 60’s my friends gave up ice cream, candy bars, and chewing gum.  I don’t know that any of them suffered all that much.  But I do understand the lesson to a kid of giving up something important to them, the lesson of sacrifice.  If it needs to start with ice cream, start with ice cream.

I don’t know about you but to me this winter has seemed like a long time in the wilderness.

I don’t do well in the cold anymore, I don’t do well in the darkness, I hate snow, I don’t like having to be on the inside looking out, I don’t like exercising indoors.  I have gained weight.

Kim and I had a brief respite from the winter doldrums with a quick visit to the Florida kids around Valentine’s Day.  And I came through Valentine’s Day unscathed this year by having flowers delivered.   I got some mileage out of that.

And I mean I literally got some mileage out of that because I ordered flowers and used a code that allowed me to earn 1500 miles on my Southwest Airlines Rapid Rewards account.  My wife doesn’t know that though.

And we have spent more time with our parents though it’s been too often reminiscent of a busy sports weekend when our kids were younger with one of us going one direction and the other going another.

The good thing about your parents getting older is that you get to see them more often.  The bad thing is that it’s not always a social visit.

This Lent I still haven’t made the commitment to give something up.  Since I have already given up eating meat, eggs, cheese, and everything else that tastes good, I suppose I could give up vegetables…but then I would be fasting.

Maybe I should give up complaining?

Not so fast, someone has to suffer.

I have learned however, life is about sacrifice, we are asked for a lot, we do spend a lot of time in the wilderness, but in our suffering and those times of wandering, our faith grows.

And the conversation I just with my wife on the phone proves that.

Feed my sheep.

Because we need fed.

And I don’t want to give that up.